


Hold Me Down (Halsey)

by Clitler



Series: Destiel Playlist [38]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Awesome Charlie, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Godstiel - Freeform, Love, M/M, Magic, Oral Sex, Rimming, Shower Sex, Spells & Enchantments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 17:10:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13486023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clitler/pseuds/Clitler
Summary: Sequel to 'You Don't Own Me'Charlie, Cas, and Dean come up with a plan to break the spell, with a little help from an unlikely ally.





	Hold Me Down (Halsey)

**Author's Note:**

> I have the hots for Godstiel.
> 
> There, I said it.
> 
> Moving on...

Hold Me Down (Halsey)

            “Get rid of it!”

 

            “Where, Charlie?  Where am I supp-“

 

            “I don’t care!”

 

            “It won’t matter,” Castiel sighed, “she’ll know it’s here.  She isn’t stupid.” He rose from his chair and left the kitchen.  Charlie and Dean looked at each other for all of thirty seconds in frozen panic.

 

            “Here, just…”

 

            “I got it! Don’t put the-“

 

            “Hey! Take this, too!”

 

            “I can’t! I’m gonna drop the-shit, can you get that?”

 

            “Just put it on my-no! Go out the other door…Yeah, there.”  Dean sat back in relief just as Castiel came back in the kitchen, followed by a petite redhead wearing far too much eye shadow.

 

            “Dean, this is-“

 

            “I know who she is,” Dean growled.  Castiel looked at the woman in surprise, then back to Dean, tilting his head in confusion.

 

            “You do?”

 

            “Amara, right?  Well, I hope you’re enjoying your free level-up, you raging bitch,” Dean grumbled, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

 

            The woman looked at Dean in amusement, one eyebrow arched, lips quirked in a little smirk.  Castiel gaped at him, flustered worse than anything Dean had ever seen, “ _Dean_! Um, this isn’t Amara” Now, it was Dean’s turn to gape in shock. “This is Rowena.  She’s another member of the coven.  She actually wrote the spell.”

 

            Dean returned to glaring at the witch, “Still a bitch, then.”

 

            “I can see you two don’t need my help, then.  Shall I be goin’?” she threatened in a thick brogue.

 

            “Wait, wait, no, I apologize for Dean’s behavior,” Castiel shot Dean a sideways glance and Dean treated him to his middle finger, “We need your help, please!”

 

            Charlie came back, breathless from running up and down the stairs.  “Your room is disgusting,” she whispered to Dean out the side of her mouth before taking the chair next to him.  Dean glared back at her as she shrugged her shoulders.

 

            “What can we do?  How do we fix this?  I’ll do anything,” Castiel asked Rowena.  The woman glided over to the table and sat delicately in the chair on the other side of Dean.

 

            “Well, first, you could offer a lady a drink, it’s only polite,” she purred, her eyes raking over Dean’s half-naked body.  He fought the chill that raced up his spine and reluctantly got up to make the witch some tea.

 

================================================================================================================================= 

            Castiel seemed enamored of the plan which came together over Dean’s kitchen table, but Dean was skeptical, to say the least.  He didn’t really know Charlie, despite their almost instant bond and relying on the witch who enabled Amara to do this to them in the first place seemed like a horrible idea.  Rowena explained that to break the spell, they would have to redirect control of it from Amara to Castiel, giving him the ability to end the whole thing.  Dean would have liked to be able to say he had faith that Castiel would do just that, but he had been the one to decide to just _take_ Dean’s love, instead of actually trying to _talk_ to him, in the first place.

 

            The whole thing came down to trust, something Dean was finding difficult to muster at this point, but he really had no other choice.  He left his mother a note, saying he was staying over at a friend’s house and threw some clothes and…other supplies in his duffle bag.  He and Cas would stay in a motel room while Charlie and Rowena worked on the spell.  Charlie was just as apprehensive about leaving Dean’s fate in the hands of the witch, especially because none of them knew exactly why she was helping them, and it only endeared her to him more.  He had no idea how Rowena had arrived at his house, but she left with Charlie to work on the spell when he and Cas left in his Baby. 

 

            The motel manager didn’t even give them a second look, just shoved a key at them and went back to his skin mag.  The probably roach-infested fleabag had been Rowena’s idea, but it did offer the benefit of renting rooms to a couple of teenagers with a fistful of cash and a fake name scrawled in a dog-eared log book.  As Dean followed Castiel down the row of identical doors to their rented room, Dean felt that tugging again in his stomach and may have whimpered a bit, making the younger boy look back sheepishly at him and mutter ‘Hold on’.  Once Castiel had unlocked the door to the last room in the building on his third attempt with shaking hands, Dean was out of patience and crowded the younger boy into the room, flipping them as soon as the door was closed and latching onto Castiel’s throat, grinding his already-hard dick against his hip.  Cas threw his head back, thunking painfully into the door, growling Dean’s name as he gabbed the older boy’s hips and prayed to any deity who might be listening that they could get through this.  Of course, any deity paying attention to two teen boys rutting together against a crappy motel room door may not be his best bet for a successful dampening of Dean’s out-of-control sex drive.

 

            Cas pushed Dean back enough to get his t shirt over his head and Dean immediately returned the favor, his face flushed and lips spit-slick and pink from sucking bruises into Castiel’s neck.  Cas couldn’t help the flip his stomach did at the sight of Dean biting his own lip as he attacked Castiel’s jeans, the words ‘pure lust’ would not have been inaccurate to describe Dean in that moment.  Castiel gripped Dean’s chin and brought those plush lips back to his for a searing kiss as Dean pushed his jeans down his hips.  It felt like forever since he’d tasted his love, even though it’d only been a few hours.  When Castiel unbuttoned Dean’s pants and slipped his hands under the waistband in the back to grasp at Dean’s ass, the taller boy moaned extravagantly into his mouth.

 

            “Fuck, Cas…feels so good,” he groaned as he mouthed along Castiel’s jaw.  Even at seventeen, Castiel was sure to have a five o’clock shadow by noon and as much as it might have annoyed him, it was undoubtedly a huge turn on for Dean, by the way he rubbed his own softer cheek along the stubble like a cat.  Cas pushed Dean’s jeans and boxers down to his knees.

 

            “Bed. Now,” he growled into Dean’s ear and the older boy scrambled to obey, kicking off his shoes and shucking his pants off on the way.  Cas bent to open Dean’s bag and extract the lube before kicking off his own shoes and pants and stalked over to the bed.  Dean watched from his knees with his breath caught in his throat at the powerful way Cas’ lithe body moved toward him, a predator with his prey dead to rights.  His sparingly-muscled chest and sinewy arms belied the strength Dean knew to be contained within the shorter boy’s body and just the thought of getting manhandled by him had Dean’s dick twitching in interest.  When Dean tried to turn around, Castiel turned him back and pushed him down on his back on the ratty motel comforter.

 

            Castiel prowled up Dean’s body, lips brushing his taunt skin every few inches, until his mouth hovered over Dean’s, his little panting huffs of breath cooling the skin of Cas’ face, “I’m going to take my time with you, Dean.  I’m going to show you what I meant when I said I love you,” he said quietly and kissed him chastely.  Castiel marveled at the exquisite way Dean’s muscles jumped and shifted under his smooth skin as Cas’ fingers traced the length and breadth of Dean’s chest.  He was endlessly fascinated with the older boy’s chest, so much bulkier than his own, so strong and capable, but in this moment, also so soft and vulnerable.  His pale skin was dotted with a cascade of tan freckles that highlighted the crest of each tantalizing curve, the skin creamy and blemish-free like no teenager had any right to be.  Castiel’s lips followed his fingertips in his reverential worship.  Dean’s breath caught and held every time Castiel stopped at a particularly favorite spot, biting the firm skin gently between his teeth then laving his tongue over the marks to soothe the tingling burn.  He yearned to memorize every sound he elicited from the other boy, something to keep him company in the lonely nights to come once he had broken the spell that made this magnificent creature bound to him.

 

            Castiel continued his ministrations for what felt like hours, turning Dean onto his stomach halfway through, despite the never-ending string of whimpers, whines, and pleas falling from Dean’s lips.  He couldn’t have adequately described it, but the quality of his sounds was not the same as the desperate, frantic cries of their first times together.  Dean pushed up into Cas’ touch and made little mewls of pleasure at every encouragement and word of praise Cas bestowed upon him.  He didn’t argue or deflect when Castiel called him ‘beautiful’ and ‘perfect’.  He didn’t try to return Castiel’s caresses or rush him.  In this anonymous motel room, Dean seemed to have forgotten how they got here, the danger hanging over his head, and the fact that it was all Castiel’s fault.  He accepted every loving touch and word as gospel and basked in the light of Castel’s adoration.

 

            When Castiel’s feather-light touches finally travelled to the place he wanted them most, the tone of Dean’s pleading took on a new edge.  Cas smiled into the soft flesh of his butt, nipping and licking his way into the crease, his fingers gently prying Dean’s ass open and applied the same veneration he had been operating with to the older boy’s tight hole.  Castiel lapped at the hard muscle, softening and relaxing it with infinite patience.  Dean sighed after a few minutes and went lax, giving in to the immense desire building in his gut, its warmth spreading out from every point of contact with Cas.  The luxury of Castiel’s undiluted ardor was loosening all the tightest places inside him, filling in the gaps created by a life lived entirely for others, making him whole again in a way he never even realized he was missing out on.  He was floating so pleasantly, he almost missed when Cas started adding fingers into his worship.

 

            By the time Castiel had worked Dean up to three fingers, his tongue running along the stretched rim the whole time, his love was coming more and more undone, whimpered pleas giving way to more forceful demands.  He picked Dean’s hips up and pushed his knees out and toward the headboard, until Dean was resting on his chest.  His face was turned to the side and he stretched his arms out straight, bracing on the flimsy headboard as Castiel slicked up his own neglected cock and lined up.  Cas draped himself over Dean’s back, his mouth instantly going to Dean’s ear, filling it with whispered talk of utter devotion and endless bliss, everything he had ever wanted to give to him and everything he knew he would never get the chance to.

 

            Castiel pushed in slowly and Dean’s jaw dropped open on a low groan as he was filled.  He halted when his balls crushed up against Dean’s perineum, his knees snugged up under his thighs, and wrapped both arms under Dean’s shoulders, grasping his upper arms for leverage.  He rolled his hips up, pulling back out of Dean just as slowly as he’d entered, kissing and licking at Dean’s neck the whole time.  He kept up the glacial pace for an eternity, pushing in and dragging out, promising a future of boundless love they would never have.  When Dean’s breath began to hitch, and he started pushing back against Castiel’s thrust within his limited scope of movement, Castiel picked up his momentum, keeping his movements deep but quickening them.  The heat of his own orgasm had been subsumed in his need to show Dean what he meant to Castiel in a language Dean would understand, but now it flared again at the first sign of Dean’s increased urgency.

 

            Castiel gently extracted his arms from around Dean and pushed up, his upper body stiff from the extended time in one position, bracing on Dean’s shoulders.  With a snap of his hips, he signaled the change in mood he’d felt Dean hinting at, going from sweet to feral in one quick motion.  Dean keened under him and grabbed at one of Castiel’s hands, placing it firmly on the back of his own head.  Castiel gasped at the implication but couldn’t find it in himself to deny Dean this thing that he so clearly wanted.  Keeping a firm grip on Dean’s left shoulder blade with one hand, Cas threaded the fingers of his right hand through the older boy’s short locks, pushing his head into the mattress as he started fucking into Dean in earnest.  Dean groaned happily, a smile tilting his lips even as he drooled into the bedding.  Castiel held him firmly down and _took_ what he wanted.  It was this even more than the constant blows to his prostate that wound Dean’s orgasm into an electric knot around his spine.

 

            “Fuck yeath…ah…ah…ah…ngh…Cath…ngh…ngh…ngh…give ithoo me…” Dean babbled against the covers when Castiel grunted and fucked into him harder.  His face was smushed into a smelly blanket on a seriously questionable motel bed that creaked and popped with every movement on top of it and his vision was getting spotty from lack of quality oxygen, but Dean had never been more turned on in his life.  He couldn’t see past the threadbare clothe of the bedspread, but his mind supplied an image of Castiel’s powerful body over his own, pinning Dean to the mattress as he desperately pumped into his eager hole.  Castiel’s grunts and groans only added fuel to the fire.  He could feel sweat dropping off Cas as he worked, landing on Dean’s back, and it only ratcheted his passion up higher.  Dean wanted to scream with the intensity of it all, but he just couldn’t find the breath. 

 

            His cock was nearly burning with the friction it was getting on the precum-soaked bed under him and he knew it wouldn’t be long before he buckled under the onslaught if Cas kept up his current pace.  “Ngh…ngh…Cath…fuck…gonna…gonna make me come…ngh…yeah…do ith…harder…yeah…ngh…ah…fuck…”

 

            “Yeah, Dean…fuck yes…come…on…my cock…fucking do it…come on…take it…yeah…so good…fuck…now, Dean…come for me, fucking **_NOW_**!!!”

 

            Dean did scream then, even though it was muffled by the press of Castiel’s hand as he was pushed harder into the mattress.  His release exploded through him in a shower of broken powerline sparks that ricocheted off the inside of his eyelids.  He bit down on the wet clothe in his face and groaned as he felt Cas’ hips stutter and he buried himself deep inside.  The warmth of his come spread inside him as Castiel moaned his name, his hips twitching helplessly as he spilled his seed.  Dean was awash in waves of pleasure even after Castiel let his head loose and collapsed across his back, panting breaths cooling their combined sweat that coated every inch of Dean’s skin.  The two lay there, recovering, until Castiel began to press closed-mouth kisses across Dean’s back then rolled off him to get something to clean them with.

 

            Still too warm to bother getting under the covers, Castiel curled up around Dean’s back and tried to quiet his brain long enough to fall asleep.  Dean’s breathing had turned deep and gentle and Castiel’s eyelids were just beginning to droop when Dean whispered, “I don’t want to lose you.”  Cas tightened his hold on the older boy as he shuddered out a sigh, “But I can’t be with you because of this.” Cas’ brows scrunched up, “Love is the most powerful force in the universe,” he whispered.  Dean pulled away just enough to get Castiel’s breath off the back of his neck and turned his face into the pillow but didn’t shove Cas off or try to break their embrace.

 

================================================================================================================================= 

 

            Dean drove them to Rowena’s house the next morning, after they had called each other off school, exchanged sloppy blowjobs in the shower, and checked out of the motel.  She lived in a moss-covered cottage on a rural road and Dean snorted as they pulled up, thinking it was _exactly_ the kind of place a witch would live in.  Castiel was silent as he led the older boy up to the front door.  Dean literally stopped in his tracks when he saw the modern lines and all-white décor of the inside of the little cottage.  Rowena smiled knowingly at him, “What? Not ‘witchy’ enough for you?” Dean glowered at her as he followed Castiel and Charlie out the back door and into a small barn behind the house.  Inside was much more what he had been expecting the house to be, lots of strange dried bundles hanging from the ceiling and every flat surface stained with layers of dark fluids.  It was illuminated entirely by the numerous enormous candles ringing the big table in the center of the single room, which was covered by a few more candles, a large wooden bowl, and a handheld mirror in a pewter frame.

 

            Castiel touched the edge of the mirror gently, almost caressing it, “How did you…”

 

            “Oh, that old thing?  I slipped it in my bag after the ceremony.  Your beloved _Auntie_ was so drunk on the sudden influx of power, she didn’t even notice it went missing.  She probably thinks you took it,” Rowena said lightly.

 

            Charlie handed Castiel a slip of paper and dragged Dean off to stand at the back wall of the room.  Dean looked down at his feet and saw he was standing in a circle of what looked like yellow powder and smelled like rotten eggs.  He wrinkled his nose but looked up as some of the candles went out with a wave of Rowena’s hand.  Charlie was busy placing small bowls inside other circles around the room, each one directly in front of a still-lit candle.  It took Dean a moment, but he was amazingly adept at spatial relationships and he parsed out the shape of a pentagram on the floor of the room, with a circle at each point, his own at the base point and the table at the center.  Charlie handed Dean a slip of paper and went to walk out the door.

 

            “Where’re you going?” Dean blurted out, his heart racing.  He _really_ didn’t want to be left alone in a room with a couple of witches.

 

            “I can’t stay, or the energy will be thrown off and this will all be for nothing,” Charlie said, her face softening sadly as she gave Dean a final look over her shoulder, “Good luck.”

            “Great,” Dean muttered as first Rowena, then Castiel started chanting in a language he didn’t know.  He sighed and looked at the paper Charlie had handed him.  It said he was to wait for the big bowl on the table to be lit, then strip down and walk to table?  _Um, no, not doing this naked,_ Dean thought.  Then he was supposed to wait for Castiel’s signal and then ejaculate on the mirror?  _Oh, Hell fucking no!_ Dean screamed internally.  At the bottom of the paper was  another scribbled line reading, ‘Just do it and you’ll never have to see either of them ever again”.           Dean groaned quietly and stuffed the paper in his pocket.

 

            The two witches spent about ten minutes chanting and smearing sticky-looking things around the surface of the table, before Rowena lit a twig from one of the candles and touched it to the bowl.  A red flame leapt up out of it and Dean reluctantly stripped down to his boxer briefs, tossing his clothes outside the pentagram.  Castiel looked at him with a raised eyebrow and continued chanting.  Dean rolled his eyes and quickly slipped his briefs off.  Castiel waved him over impatiently and Dean walked up to the table, both hands covering his junk, protecting it from Rowena’s undisguised look of interest.  A few moments of intense embarrassment later, Castiel pointed at the mirror then at Dean.  Dean shook his head and tried to keep his eyes averted.  He just couldn’t do it.  Now it was Cas’ turn to roll his eyes.  He stepped up behind Dean and gently looped his arms under Dean’s, stroking his stomach and chest, “I’ll help you, Dean.  Just close your eyes.  That’s good.  Let me touch you,” Dean reluctantly moved his hands enough for Cas to get a grip on his limp cock.  “Now, think about me.  Think about all the things we’ve done.  Think about how it felt to have my mouth on you, on your lips, your nipples, “ Castiel flicked a thumb over one of Dean’s nipples.  Dean gasped, and his dick stiffened in Cas’ hand, clearly taking an interest in Castiel’s words, despite Dean’s humiliation. “Think about sucking my cock, my hands in your hair as I fuck into your mouth.  How it tasted, the weight of it between your lips…” Castiel kept up the litany of filthy memories in Dean’s ear and, paired with the firm strokes of his hand, had Dean fully hard before he even knew it.  It wasn’t long before the warm breath and muttered reminders at his ear had him close, desire coiling low in his stomach as he pictured everything Cas had done to him.  He risked a glance down at himself and watched in fascination as Castiel jacked his dick while his other hand roamed all over Dean’s skin.  The younger man finally reached down and fondled Dean’s tight balls, rolling them gently and Dean broke, his orgasm skating through him and boiling out his dick as he struggled to draw a full breath in its wake.  Cas aimed his dick down at the mirror and he coated it in thick release.  Castiel spun him around and made him watch as he licked up the few drops of spunk that had landed on his knuckles.  Dazed, Dean let Castiel pull him in, kissing him sloppily.  Dean tasted himself on Cas’ tongue and plastered himself to the shorter boy, groaning into the kiss even as Castiel rubbed his jean-clad erection into Dean’s sensitive dick.  Castiel shuddered into the kiss and came in his pants.

 

            With his eyes closed, it took Dean a second to recognize that the light was getting brighter in the room.  Cracking his eyes open, he saw that a new, blue-white light was emanating from his and Cas’ joined lips and Castiel’s wide-open eyes.  It was too much, too bright for his dark-adapted eyes and he broke the kiss, gasping for breath, and drew away from Castiel, his back hitting the table.  Castiel took a step back, his whole body shaking subtly as power raced through his veins.  Dean stared at him in shock, too terrified to touch him.  Distantly he heard Rowena calling Castiel’s name, demanding he ‘do it now’, whatever ‘it’ was.

 

            Suddenly, Castiel stilled, not even breathing, and the light washed brighter and brighter, overtaking his entire body.  Dean cowered back, raising his arm to block his eyes.  The light behind his arm dimmed almost completely and Dean lowered it, only to see Castiel standing regally before him, eyes still glowing blue-white, face an impassive mask.

 

            “Dean.  I saved you,” he intoned, the timbre of his words vibrating through Dean’s bones, like they were coming from inside him somehow.

 

            Dean gaped in awe, but muttered, “You sure did, Cas.”

 

            “You doubted me, fought against this, but I was right all along.”

 

            “Yeah, yeah, you were.  I’m sorry, but…but now, we have to end this, break the spell.”

 

            “Oh, no, Dean.  You belong with me.  We will punish Amara, as well as anyone else who defies us, who tries to keep us apart.”  Castiel’s glowing stare was unnerving in the extreme, but Dean was helpless before it.  His knees wanted so badly to buckle.

 

            “Listen…Listen, Cas…if you love me…if you ever truly loved me…you have to let me go.  Please, Cas, please let me go,” Dean tried to keep his tone calm and reasonable, but it was almost impossible under the heat and longing Castiel was projecting.

 

            “You don’t have to be afraid, Dean.  You are mine now, and I will always take care of you.  You will never feel pain, or regret, or anger, ever again.  Only love…and pleasure…for all eternity.” Castiel took a step toward Dean. “I am your new God…and you will…bow down, before me, and profess your love unto me, your Lord.”

 

            Dean’s knees felt like magnets being pulled relentlessly toward the floor.  The thrumming song from before was deafening inside his head, as it built and built and built.  Someone was screaming Cas’ name from far, far away, but the song would block them out soon enough.  Castiel smiled at him and he started to tumble into the terrible beauty of it.

 

 

            Charlie stood outside the double doors of the barn in between bouts of pacing, while she listened to Castiel and Rowena chanting the words of the spell.  Then, it was just Rowena’s voice she heard, until a blinding light shot through every crack and chink in the barn’s wooden sides.  Charlie squeaked and flung herself to the ground, convinced they had made some kind of supernatural bomb and she would burn where she stood.  Silence followed the dimming of the light and Charlie crawled over to the door, popping it open just a crack to peer inside.  The interior was dark, compared to the sunlit woods around them, but her eyes adjusted quickly enough she could make out Rowena cowering behind the altar while Dean and Castiel stood on the far side.

 

            Castiel was supposed to break the mirror now, like Rowena was screaming at him to do, but his eyes were overflowing with the light of power and he seemed oblivious to anything except Dean.  Dean started to sink slowly to his knees and Castiel’s words finally registered in Charlie’s head.  If Dean submitted to the spell before it could be broken, they would both be lost, and Dean would spend an eternity as the energy source for the most powerful witch the world had ever seen.  Charlie was moving before she even realized she’d made a decision.

 

            Dodging around Rowena’s attempt to grab her, Charlie flung herself across the table, snatching up the mirror and held it high over her head.  “ ** _Castiel!_** ” she screamed.  Castiel’s attention wavered for the barest second and Dean stood back up, chest heaving as he gasped for breath.  Castiel slowly turned his head toward Charlie, the light in his eyes backing off until they held only the blue of the summer sky.  It still scared Charlie nearly to death, seeing her friend so transformed.  “I-I have to break it…I’m sorry…but you have to _stop_ …”  Charlie raised he mirror even higher.

 

            “ _Stop_!” Rowena hissed beside her, “ _He_ has to do it or we’ll all die, you stupid girl!”  Charlie lowered the mirror and looked at Dean in despair.  He was leaning heavily on the altar, his eyes bleary with tears.  He reached out a shaking hand and took the mirror from Charlie’s grasp.  Charlie stepped back until her back hit the wall of the barn and she slid to the floor.  She wanted to run, but she knew there would be nowhere to run _to_ , once Dean gave in.

 

            Dean looked down at the mirror, surprised to see the mess he’d made was gone, then back up at Castiel, at the face of the man he’d fallen in love with.  Despite everything he’d done, Dean knew he’d never find a love like this.  Something deep inside him had been calling out to Castiel from the second they locked eyes at that party.  Something recognized him, recognized that his life would never be complete without Cas in it, for better or worse.  That something was why he couldn’t let this happen, not to Castiel and not to himself.

 

            Dean bent over and placed the mirror on the floor carefully, facing up, halfway between them.  Castiel looked down at it in curiosity.  “Do you remember what I told you yesterday, Cas, about how I felt about you?” Dean asked softly.

 

            Castiel tilted his head in confusion, “I recall every word you have ever said to me with perfect clarity,” he answered flatly.

 

            “If you remember, then you know you did the best you could.  I forgive you, Castiel.  I love you and I always will, unless you do this to me again.  If you love me like I love you, you’ll come to me,” Dean opened his arms, “You’ll walk across that mirror to get to me.”

 

            A flash of pain swept over Castiel’s placid face and he glanced down at the mirror quickly before locking eyes with Dean.  Dean waited, holding his breath, as Cas’ words replayed in his head on a loop, ‘ _Love is the most powerful force in the universe…Love is the most powerful force in the universe…Love is the most powerful force in the universe…_ ’

 

            Castiel took a step and stopped, still staring into Dean.  After a long moment, his other leg came forward and his foot landed squarely on top the mirror.  He didn’t break his gaze as he shifted his weight to that foot and Dean heard the blessed sound of crunching glass.  The blue-white light flared between them and smoked upward through the roof, blown away on the echoing scream of a woman.  Castiel sagged and stumbled forward into Dean’s arms and passed out as Dean lowered him to the floor.

 

================================================================================================================================= 

 

            Castiel came back to consciousness with the sound of Dean’s voce rumbling not too far away.  He tried to lift his eyelids but found he didn’t have the energy.  He remembered the spell in bits and pieces.  He remembered helping Dean come on the mirror.  He remembered the blast of energy that had rushed through him when they kissed and how it wiped away any thought other than _DeanDeanDean_ and the resounding call to power.  He remembered the all-consuming urge to put Dean on his knees, to have his willing participation in what would surely be Castiel’s glorious reign over the Earth.  And he remembered Dean telling him Cas would have to give it all up if he loved him.

 

            “Cas?” Dean asked quietly from very close to Castiel’s head.  Castiel opened his eyes slowly to see Dean standing next to the bed he was lying in, his hands clasped together in front of his hips.  “Hey, buddy,” he chuckled nervously, “uh, can I sit with you?” Castiel nodded dumbly and Dean sat on the edge of the bed.

 

            “So, it’s over, um, but you probably already know that.  What, uh, what all do you remember?”

 

            “Enough,” Cas croaked out and pushed himself up a bit to sit against the headboard with a wince.

 

            Dean didn’t move to help him, or even touch him, and Cas’ heart sank.  “Well, um, Rowena says that Amara isn’t gonna be a problem anymore.  When you broke the mirror, you also fucked her shit up pretty bad, from what I understand, so she’s just, like, a regular old bitch now, so I guess we’re home free.  Rowena’s taking over the coven, so that was her price, I guess,” he babbled, a hand scrubbing at the back of his neck.

 

            “Okay,” Castiel said meekly.  Dean sagged and huffed loudly before looking up at Castiel sadly.

 

            “Look, Cas, um, this thing…between us…it’s, um, it’s always gonna be there, but I don’t…I don’t know how I can possibly be…how I could ever…”

 

            “You said you forgive me,” Castiel tried, but he knew this was the end.

 

            “And I do, I do, Cas, really, and I…I love you, um, but…just because you love someone, and they love you, it, like, doesn’t mean you should be together, at least not right away, ya know?”

 

            “I don’t understand,” Cas mumbled, tears threatening to spill.  He clamped down on his bottom lip to keep them at bay.

 

            “I don’t think we should be together right now,” Dean said in a rush, “I just…” Dean looked out the window, “I need some time, man.”

 

           “How long?”

 

           Dean looked back at Castiel, his eyes hard, his lips thinned out in a sneer, “I don’t know, Cas, how long will you give me?”

 

           Castiel tried not to flinch from the accusation in those words because he deserved Dean’s anger much more than his love.  Dean caught the look of anguish that skipped across Cas’ face and his anger melted away in the space of a breath.  “I don’t know how long,” Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.  “I’ll, uh, I know how to find you when I’m ready to see you again.”  He stood up and turned toward the door. 

 

          “Good bye, Dean,” Castiel said to his back.

 

          “I’ll see ya, then, Cas,” he murmured without turning around and then he was gone.

 

 **==============================================================================================================================**  

 

            Castiel went back to school the next Monday, citing a death in the family in a forged note from his mother.  When he did go back, he avoided the senior hallway except for his art classes.  Even then he was late to each and every one because he waited until the hall was clear before walking quickly to class.  It took Charlie a whole three days to start talking to him again.  He didn’t know if she stayed friends with Dean because he never asked, but he suspected she did.  He caught glimpses of Dean randomly in the last month of school, so he tried to convince himself it was just as it had been before they met.  Gabriel came back the day of Dean’s graduation, so he couldn’t sneak into the school’s gym like he’d planned, to watch Dean get his diploma.  He figured it was for the best.  He didn’t want to feel the guilt of violating their fragile truce and possibly pushing Dean out of his life forever.  Gabriel stayed the whole summer and kept Castiel occupied with video games and stories of his adventures.  He never asked what had happened, but he knew something had because Castiel caught his brother looking at him with something like pity several times.

 

            Gabriel left again the week before Castiel started his senior year.  Charlie had met a junior named Gilda and spent far less of her time hovering around Castiel, so he spent his last year in high school almost on his own.  He did become sort of friendly with Kevin Tran, who introduced him to Dean’s brother, Sam, who was a freshman that year.  Castiel avoided Sam like he’d avoided Dean, afraid to get too close and inadvertently hear news of Dean.  He knew Dean had gone on to college nearby and that was all he needed to know.  He dreaded the day Kevin let something slip about Dean’s hot new girlfriend or how Dean met a guy in school and brought him home to meet Sam.

 

            His own graduation was almost anticlimactic.  He waved to his mother and Gabriel in the audience as he mounted the stage to accept his diploma.  Gabriel stood and hooted loudly, screaming ‘Cassie’ at the top of his lungs as their mother tried frantically to pull him back down.  Castiel laughed and it felt like the first time he’d done so in over a year.  He almost skipped down the steps and walked on lighter feet back to his seat, an easy smile on his lips.  He didn’t even think about scanning the crowd of well-wishers and families for a pair of familiar green eyes.  He would have been disappointed if he had.  Dean wasn’t in the bleachers.  He leaned against the rail beside them, almost entirely in shadow, and clapped for Castiel with a matching smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> It's still not over!
> 
> One more chapter to go, then I'm going to take a break and try to put this cluster fuck into some kind of order.
> 
> It will still be under the 'Destiel Playlist' series, I just want to group chapters together to avoid some confusion.


End file.
